Life! participant diary
Read Kerrie's diary entries about the Life! course and the impact on her life.
The week before starting the Life! course
Feeling revolting and revolted about myself, about my size and my energy levels. It’s gone beyond what I look like, it’s the way I feel. I’m finding it hard just to get out of bed in the morning.
I’m sure my food and exercise are off balance. Last night I went home, had some dinner, spoke with my daughter on the phone and then I was in bed watching TV and eating rich ice cream, chocolate, cheese etc. A shocking pattern. You could say it’s dark, it’s winter you can’t walk the dog, but it’s just excuses.
The day before starting the Life! course
Saw an advert on TV with a woman who reminded me of myself. She was swimming in a pool but when she got out of the water, I saw part of her leg was missing. The voiceover said if you’re overweight and over fifty you’re at risk of developing type 2 diabetes. It gave me such a shock.
Rang the 13 RISK number and booked into a Taking action on Diabetes course. They call them Life! courses. I’m desperate to start and don’t want to wait another three weeks for the Brunswick course to start, so I’ve booked into the one in Hampton. Life! course here I come!
Session 1
Wednesday 13 May 2009
Went to the course. I’m amazed at how much I learned in just the first session. I really thought I knew about diets and that sort of thing, but I didn’t realise how little I did know.
Trent the facilitator is very approachable and the people doing the course all seem very nice.
I’m so glad that I’m doing something about changing my lifestyle.
Thursday 14 May 2009
I am meant to be going to Gold Coast this Saturday for a friend’s 50th and I am really thinking of not going. Just the thought of getting on the plane and asking for a seat belt extension is awful.
My eating was so so today. But I’m a heck of a lot better than I was if I hadn’t have started.
Saturday 16 May 2009
I had thought that the next time I saw my friends I would be fitter and lighter. Instead I am heavier than ever. Still when I got to the airport I was happy that I decided not to stay home.
The seat belt was not an issue as the flight attendants were too pre-occupied to even care.
It was great to see Josie, her husband Rex and her gorgeous children and mum. Went swimming at the beach and felt so much better.
Josie’s 50th was an amazing night and I caught up with people I had not seen for years, which was wonderful.
To think, that if I hadn’t started the Life! course, I may have stayed in Melbourne and missed it all.
Sunday 17 May 2009
Went for a few swims and had a great day with Josie, Rex and the kids before I headed back to Melbourne. So glad I went as I know if I had’ve stayed in Melbourne I would have only eaten and eaten.
When I got on the plane, I straight away asked for a seat belt extension. Feeling so much better, I didn’t even care.
Monday 18 May 2009
Woke up still feeling great from my weekend away. Once again - thank goodness I went!
It was big weekend, so I did feel quite tired as the day went on. Josie bought me the book Sweet Poison and I am realising more and more how addictive sugar is, and the damage it can do.
Wednesday 20 May 2009
Stayed in bed much longer than I should have and dragged myself into work.
Still not exercising and not very motivated, but better than I was a few weeks back. Also, I have noticed that when I am shopping, I am definitely thinking twice about what is going into the trolley!
Friday 22 May 2009
I am realising more and more about the power of food.
It has been my constant companion, my lover, my best friend, and so much more.
Thank heavens I saw the diabetes commercial, because I know little changes are definitely happening.
I went to the pool today and swam for an hour. These changes are not a magic wand, but little steps.
Sunday 24 May 2009
I went shopping and bought wholemeal pasta!
Started to clear out the clutter from the living room. A huge step for me. Maybe if I declutter my home, my brain will follow!
A better weekend, but still sluggish.
Monday 25 May 2009
Waking up in the middle of the night is so draining. I cannot remember the last time I slept right through. I am sure my lack of exercise does not help.
Tuesday 26 May
Have the Life! course tomorrow night. I had thought I would be in a much better way with exercise and food by now.
Still I realise that even though my fortnight has not been perfect, it has been a much better fortnight than if I hadn’t started the course at all.
Session 2
Wednesday 26 May
Felt really good about going to the course, and it was very inspiring. Trent has so much information and he delivers it in a manner which is very easy to understand.
But when I stopped for petrol on the way home, I also bought a $2 bag of lollies!
I felt sick driving and eating…it was too sweet. My taste buds are changing.
Thursday 27 May 2009
Getting up this morning was very difficult because I had such a sugar hangover!
However at lunch time today I went for a walk up the hill near work…I felt like I was in Rocky, on the steps! Hurrah for my first lunchtime walk!
I was going to go swimming in the evening, but drove right past, as there were too many cars in the parking lot. I have a long way to go.
Friday 28 May 2009
Today at lunch time I walked for 40 minutes around the Shrine…what a feeling!
Drove to Dandenong for a Board commitment but when we were at the hotel, trays of nibbles arrived.
I thought the chicken strips would be ok…but then I ate lots of pieces of all the other food as well.
Stayed with friends and had the most yummy dinner. Naturally I had seconds...does it count that I said no to desert?
Later I had some jelly beans…couldn’t resist.
Sat 29 May 2009
Started the day off well with porridge. But couldn’t finish it, after having had all those jelly beans last night. Talk about one step forward two steps back!
Went to the Board meeting and ate far too many sandwiches at lunchtime. Scones, jam and cream for morning tea…but I only ate one. Not too bad.
After the meeting I headed down to the coast to a friend’s home. We laughed and talked and went to a beautiful restaurant for dinner. Had a huge steak meal but no dessert. Quite proud of myself.
Sunday 30 May 2009
Woke up early to watch Britain’s Got Talent, but sad to see Susan didn’t win.
Had a big breakfast followed by a bigger lunch but I spent a few hours in the pool. I’m starting to enjoy the exercise.
My friend cooked a fantastic risotto for dinner and we had homemade ice cream. Decided to stay for another night. It is a magical place. Went to bed feeling very uncomfortable from all the food.
Monday 1 June 2009
Decided to stay another night on the Peninsula. I have found it so relaxing.
Headed back to work and arrived at the office late morning. Not at all motivated and feeling very bloated from all the extra food I ate on the weekend.
Ate a huge dinner and felt like everything was such an effort. I didn’t exercise today either.
But whereas I might have given up a month ago, if I were on a weight loss diet. Now I just feel like I will try to make tomorrow a better day. The worst thing of all would be to give up now.
Wednesday 3 June 2009
Another difficult morning…I cannot remember the last time I went to sleep and stayed asleep the whole night. I have no problem getting to sleep, it is staying asleep that is my problem. Nothing seems to help and I don’t want to go down the path of sleeping tablets.
Went to see Billy Elliot and decided to have an ice cream before the show. I also wanted one at interval, but resisted...baby steps!
Friday 5 June 2009
Headed out at lunchtime to the MCG to collect footy tickets for Monday’s match. Bought a spinach roll for lunch, an ok choice. Certainly not feeling like the footy right now but hopefully will feel more positive on Monday.
Another night in bed watching television and eating. No Exercise! But at least I am aware that I should be exercising.
Sat 6 June 2009
My friend Michael came over for breakfast and we ended up going to the movies to see Samson & Delilah. I had an ice cream, which I didn’t enjoy very much, a bit like the movie itself!
Went back to Mike’s and managed to sneak two rows of his chocolate bar and then we had sandwiches and later risotto for dinner. Didn’t feel comfortable at all. Does it count that I said no to desert? Maybe not since I had already eaten it earlier in the day!
No exercise again.
Sunday 7 June 2009
I was meant to go out on a date but we decided to meet next week.
I stayed at home and read and tidied up and ate.
Food is my lover, my best friend, my partner. At this rate I will be on the Life! course forever!
Monday 8 June 2009
Woke up during the night and I really had to push myself to get to the footy. But I would never want to let Vikki and Christine down, plus I had their tickets! Felt much better once I was on the train.
I had two of Christine’s chocolate biscuits and stopped at that. Maybe I am imagining this, but they did taste extra sweet. The day was good. Walked for ten minutes.
Tuesday 9 June 2009
Woke up with a very sore lower back. It’s an injury I seem to get every couple of years. Could it be weight related? Everything else seems to be!
On the way home from work I decided to cook chicken stir fry, quite healthy except I added far too much peanut sauce.
Then while I was at the supermarket I ate a chocolate bar while I was in the queue. At least I stopped at one. It is quite embarrassing handing the checkout girl an empty wrapper to scan!
The chocolate bar didn’t taste as good as I thought it would. It was too sweet. And I didn’t buy another two or three to take home. One step forward two steps back – again! Or should I say one chocolate bar down, two left on shelf!
Session 3
Wednesday 10 June 2009
Woke up with a sore back again.
My eating was ok today and I had the course to look forward to for extra motivation. Trent’s strength exercise session was fantastic. I bought the portable rubber strength band and did the exercises, although I had thought that maybe I shouldn’t do them due to the back pain.
Another lady, Jenny was also there to talk to us, and I gained a lot from her lecture too.
Diabetes is very frightening. I know I have been given a real chance with this course and I must make more effort. I don’t want to end up blind, have a stroke or lose a limb. And if I don’t start getting serious about this then I am a candidate just waiting for my turn.
I’ve been thinking about the people who suffer illness through no fault of their own. They must wish they had been given a choice, like I have, to change their fate. I must really wake up and make serious changes.
Jenny (who came to speak to us) said people who have type 2 diabetes (or in my category: pre diabetes) have a lot of trouble sleeping. She said they always wake up in the middle of the night due to the overload of sugar in their system.
Exactly my problem! Alarm bells are ringing!
Trent weighed me and I have lost one kilo. I guess it’s better than putting five kilos on, and if I wasn’t doing this course then that is what would have happened. On the way home I did not stop for any snacks, which was a first, but then I didn’t stop for petrol either!
Thursday 11 June 2009
I cannot believe it! I took Jenny’s advice and had a cup of warm milk with a teaspoon of chocolate before bed, and I woke up a couple of times, and only for a minute, then went straight back to sleep.
It has been a long time since that has happened. Woke up at 6-ish feeling really good in myself.
I’m still in a lot of pain due to my back, but my eating is much better (I am now eating wholemeal pasta!). And I am feeling better too.
I will go swimming tonight, just gentle exercise due to my back.
Friday 12 June 2009
Slept a lot better again, which makes for a good start to the day.
I have noticed that my emotions are all over the place. I think it’s because I am not able to turn to food, which has been my crutch. It is definitely hard going! But I must hang in there. The alternative is type 2 diabetes and how much worse would that be?
Jenny said I need to count calories and I think there is something in that.
Went to the movies with a friend and did not have an ice cream! Not only that, but I didn’t even join my friend in a glass of wine afterwards. As Jenny said, it is empty calories that I do not need. Settled for water. Now that is a first! So proud of myself.
Saturday 13 June 2009
Another good night of sleep, only waking up for a few minutes.
Took the dog for a walk! HURRAH! We walked along the pier and it was just terrific to be outside.
Later in the day I went to the movies - no ice cream again! This never would have happened before I started the Life! course. I wouldn’t have even thought about it, I just would have got one. And wholemeal pasta for dinner!
A really great day from start to finish.
Monday 15 June 2009
Sleep wasn’t too good, but still much better than it used to be.
Lots of emotions are arising and I am not pushing them down with food. Which means I am having a lot of Ouch moments. I guess there are better ways to deal with these things, which I need to learn.
I have realised I need to change a few things in my life. I need to meet more people in the area I live. Decided to join the Williamstown Book Club!
Went to my Uncle Vic’s farewell lunch even though I didn’t want to go. Met up with some lovely people. So glad I went – I had fun. The lunch was share plates of Chinese food, not too bad at all, and I didn’t have desert. Three cheers for me!
Came home, cooked dinner and took the dog for a walk. He must be wondering what is happening! His health will be improving along with mine.
I even put make up on today. Can I say it? I don’t want to jinx myself, but I am starting to feel a little better!
Tuesday 16 June 2009
Took Chance (my dog) for another walk! While I was walking I thought I saw two people in the freezing cold water. I asked someone if it was people in the water and they said no it was plastic buoys. So I started wondering if my sight was being affected - pre type 2 diabetes. As I got closer it turned out to be two men in the water! It was such a relief!
Thank goodness my eyesight is ok. I could have been seeing two buoys if I had not started the Life! course. Type 2 diabetes affects eyesight. The stats on how many people with type 2 diabetes go blind and are amputees is frightening, and that is not even looking at strokes etc.
I must take the Life! course very very seriously.
Went to a friend’s birthday dinner - Thai food, and yes I ate too much! Plus birthday cake, but I did stop at one piece. I must remind myself it is all little steps!
Wednesday 17 June 2009
Chance only had a short walk this morning due to time limitations, but he did get out, as did I!
Thursday 18 June 2009
Shocking night’s sleep. I woke up around 3.45a.m. and watched TV, then went back to sleep and arrived at work late. I need to nip that in the bud, and if I can’t the TV will be going into the garage. Had a healthy breakfast of rolled oats (unprocessed), mixed berries and plain yogurt. I am enjoying the rolled oats with water, and then I have my cup of milk at night, to help me sleep better.
Went for an extra long walk with Chance after work. Decided not to go the pool as my back is still quite sore.
Eating Much Better!
Friday 19 June 2009
Had the milk last night and I did sleep so much better.
Chance and I walked for over an hour this morning. Now feel fantastic, sitting in my office.
I think I am turning the corner!
The rest of the day went well and Chance and I did another walk when I got home.
My eating is not too bad either!
Saturday 20 June 2009
Issi (my daughter) and I went out for brunch and it was just lovely.
I ordered the Big Breakfast and could not eat again till late afternoon!
After brunch we walked along the pier. Issi commented on how many times she has asked me to have brunch and how I always say no. My life is changing in more ways than just my blood sugar count!
Another long walk later, with Chance. Chatted to a couple of people who also had dogs. Then in the afternoon Issi and I went to the pool, after which we stopped at the bakery and shared a pastie.
I am really starting to see my life in a happier light. Can I say it? Yes I am feeling much better!
Sunday 21 June 2009
Organised to go on a mystery train trip with friends today. But as I needed to walk Chance before I went, I missed the earlier train and the mystery tour unfolded without me there!
My friend Christine and I talked all the way to Ballarat. Then we headed to Beechworth and the bakery there. We had a pie each for lunch and shared a Bee Sting cake! It was YUMMY!!!
But thanks to my new lifestyle we didn’t spend the whole afternoon at the Beechworth Bakery eating! We walked around the city and visited the art gallery and before we knew it, it was time to board the train home.
Scrambled eggs for dinner.
A great weekend and so much better than most this year.
Monday 22 June 2009
Chance and I went for an hour walk before work. I think my poor dog is in shock with this new lifestyle!
I am thrilled to say his behaviour is so much better, as is his mother’s!
I saw the TV commercial for type 2 diabetes on the weekend and I feel it is such powerful personal message for me. I know how easily that could have been me. My quality of life has already improved and this is just the start!